Under the Table


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This post is in response to Magpie Tales prompt #61 which is the image above.

 

Anything I try will pale in comparison to the the great Dorothy Parker.  If you are not familiar with her, give yourself a treat and explore her writings.  In my opinion, the wittiest writer ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s one of her pieces that’s fits this prompt perfectly:

 

I wish I could drink like a lady

I can take one or two at the most

Three and I’m under the table

Four and I’m under the host


Here’s my take:

 

While minding my manners at dinner

And sipping a merlot or four

My body went suddenly liquid

And I dribbled on to the floor


I don’t think my in-laws are happy

I shudder at what they must think

But since I am already down here

Please pass me the rest of my drink





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  1. April 11, 2011 at 5:39 PM

    Perfect.

  2. April 11, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    Funny…brilliant. I love Dorothy Parker a fabulous poet.

  3. April 11, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    O that brought a laugh and a smile to my morning! Very cute!

  4. thingy
    April 11, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    I love Dorothy Parker!

    Your take was fabulous. : ) Thanks for the smile.

  5. April 11, 2011 at 10:37 PM

    Now that is funny. I Love It.

    Lisa
    InspiredbyLisa

  6. priya
    April 11, 2011 at 10:51 PM

    LOL. I loved Dorothy Parker’s verse.
    Your take is fantastic as well 🙂

  7. April 12, 2011 at 2:54 AM

    …and try to keep it all in the glass! Loved it.

  8. April 12, 2011 at 3:49 AM

    You did a great job there, and courageous to do so after Dorothy Parker’s verse.

  9. April 12, 2011 at 7:44 AM

    Dear Ms Parker welcome back from the other side!
    Well done Vb

  10. Lyn
    April 12, 2011 at 9:03 AM

    Dorothy..step aside! You’ve met your match!

  11. April 12, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    Thank you all for stopping by and reading. I appreciate the feedback. Vb

  12. April 12, 2011 at 10:04 AM

    I have been missing your brilliant poems a lot.

    thanks for returning with another masterpiece.

    what a guy/girl! still asking for drinks! 🙂

  13. earlybird
    April 12, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    This had me laughing out loud.

  14. April 12, 2011 at 12:42 PM

    Great writing!

    physics of it all

  15. April 12, 2011 at 12:45 PM

    I love Dorothy Parker! Your nod to her writing was quite good!

  16. April 12, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    This has to be my favourite of all the Magpies I’ve visited so far! LOL

  17. April 12, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    Wow! that was simply a superb synchronization… wonderful!!! 😀

  18. Doctor FTSE
    April 12, 2011 at 2:04 PM

    Very good verses. Thanks for the chuckles.

  19. April 12, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    lolss
    mega lolsss

    Not only Dorothy’s piece was perfect but yours was just more apt! Your words matched upto her writes! Kudos!!

    Many Hugs xx

  20. Helen
    April 12, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    Double whammy!!!

  21. April 12, 2011 at 5:59 PM

    Not such a long way to go to catch up with Dorothy.

  22. April 12, 2011 at 7:27 PM

    haha..playful verse…and if i am already down here i might as well be refreshed

  23. April 12, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    i think your wit was quite comparable…

  24. Elaine
    April 12, 2011 at 11:04 PM

    Hilarious. Great rhyme, meter and punch line!

  25. April 13, 2011 at 12:31 AM

    Both pieces, both writers hit the mark well!

  26. April 13, 2011 at 1:02 AM

    too funny. enjoyed this!

  27. April 13, 2011 at 1:22 AM

    Great stand-in for Dorothy!

  28. April 13, 2011 at 3:03 AM

    You are every bit as witty as Dorothy P.

  29. April 13, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    THIS IS GREAT! LOL, I liked your’s better than her’s… WONDERFUL!! (Clap, clap in appreciation)

  30. April 13, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    Brilliant! I never could manage to write humour, you’ve done well with this!

  31. April 13, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    Hah! Eminently practical.

  32. April 13, 2011 at 3:07 PM

    Hey! Hey! Right up my street these poems are! I like to add humour as much as possible in my ‘pies!

    I think Ms Parker may have a bit of competition here! I’ve certainly jotted down her name.

  33. hypercryptical
    April 13, 2011 at 3:59 PM

    Brilliantly done! I’m smiling!

    Anna :o]

  34. April 13, 2011 at 5:07 PM

    Thank you again to all who have commented and encouraged…it is greatly appreciated. Vb

  35. April 14, 2011 at 12:34 AM

    Perfect, perfect! Love it!

  36. April 14, 2011 at 1:25 AM

    Far and a way, the best that I’ve read. I love your sense of humor. Reminds me of me. It ain’t a crime to write the rhyme!

  37. ds
    April 14, 2011 at 9:10 PM

    Hahahahahahaha! Love Dorothy Parker (who would definitely approve) and love this. Wonderful. Thank you.

  38. April 15, 2011 at 2:10 AM

    Too good, VB! Excellent!

    Here is my Magpie poem.

  39. April 15, 2011 at 9:59 AM

    Cute and witty… love the rhythm and rhyme, too.

  40. April 15, 2011 at 12:38 PM

    FABULOUS!
    You did Dorothy proud!

  41. April 15, 2011 at 12:51 PM

    Take two aspirins and call me in the morning.

  42. Trellissimo
    April 15, 2011 at 1:22 PM

    I’m sure Dorothy Parker would approve.

  43. April 15, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    Funny and clever at the same time – that can’t be bad!

  44. April 15, 2011 at 8:55 PM

    Love Dorothy’s wit; love your take on it, as well, LOL. Thanks for the laughter.

  45. April 15, 2011 at 11:32 PM

    Dorothy’s was good, but I prefer yours. Well done!

  46. April 16, 2011 at 12:06 AM

    These are both so funny and have me laughing all of the way through! Especially like these lines:
    My body went suddenly liquid
    And I dribbled on to the floor
    Gotta go check out Dorothy Parker now!

  47. April 16, 2011 at 11:20 AM

    I so wish I’d written this – wonderful!

  48. April 16, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    very nicely done

  49. April 16, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    Classic!

  50. elizabethmatter
    April 16, 2011 at 7:30 PM

    Brilliant.

  51. April 16, 2011 at 8:28 PM

    Elizabeth, Thanks for reading and subscribing. Vb

  52. April 16, 2011 at 9:52 PM

    oh that’s funny!

  53. April 16, 2011 at 10:33 PM

    I don’t see why your in-laws would be upset — you did, after all, say “please”.

    • April 16, 2011 at 10:44 PM

      Darn good point…I’ll remember that next time! vb

  54. April 17, 2011 at 3:37 AM

    Your verse made me laugh!

  55. Deb
    April 17, 2011 at 8:18 AM

    Terrific, esp. the first one about four & the host! grin!

  56. April 17, 2011 at 12:51 PM

    Oh I love that Dorothy Parker verse, she certainly is packed with wit! 🙂 You might be one of her relatives I think, yours is equally as impressive 😀 LOVED IT!

    My Magpie Post

  57. April 17, 2011 at 3:16 PM

    I’m back again to congratulate you for your Honorable Mention in this week’s
    Limerick of the Week.

  58. April 17, 2011 at 7:30 PM

    Very funny. Made me snort, in fact — which I don’t do often (unless I’m drunk). 😉

  59. April 18, 2011 at 10:15 AM

    This was fun read ! And yes, Dorothy is a wonderful writer for all occasions 😉

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