Under the Table












This post is in response to Magpie Tales prompt #61 which is the image above.


Anything I try will pale in comparison to the the great Dorothy Parker.  If you are not familiar with her, give yourself a treat and explore her writings.  In my opinion, the wittiest writer ever.







Here’s one of her pieces that’s fits this prompt perfectly:


I wish I could drink like a lady

I can take one or two at the most

Three and I’m under the table

Four and I’m under the host

Here’s my take:


While minding my manners at dinner

And sipping a merlot or four

My body went suddenly liquid

And I dribbled on to the floor

I don’t think my in-laws are happy

I shudder at what they must think

But since I am already down here

Please pass me the rest of my drink

  1. April 11, 2011 at 5:39 PM


  2. April 11, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    Funny…brilliant. I love Dorothy Parker a fabulous poet.

  3. April 11, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    O that brought a laugh and a smile to my morning! Very cute!

  4. thingy
    April 11, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    I love Dorothy Parker!

    Your take was fabulous. : ) Thanks for the smile.

  5. April 11, 2011 at 10:37 PM

    Now that is funny. I Love It.


  6. priya
    April 11, 2011 at 10:51 PM

    LOL. I loved Dorothy Parker’s verse.
    Your take is fantastic as well 🙂

  7. April 12, 2011 at 2:54 AM

    …and try to keep it all in the glass! Loved it.

  8. April 12, 2011 at 3:49 AM

    You did a great job there, and courageous to do so after Dorothy Parker’s verse.

  9. April 12, 2011 at 7:44 AM

    Dear Ms Parker welcome back from the other side!
    Well done Vb

  10. Lyn
    April 12, 2011 at 9:03 AM

    Dorothy..step aside! You’ve met your match!

  11. April 12, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    Thank you all for stopping by and reading. I appreciate the feedback. Vb

  12. April 12, 2011 at 10:04 AM

    I have been missing your brilliant poems a lot.

    thanks for returning with another masterpiece.

    what a guy/girl! still asking for drinks! 🙂

  13. earlybird
    April 12, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    This had me laughing out loud.

  14. April 12, 2011 at 12:42 PM

    Great writing!

    physics of it all

  15. April 12, 2011 at 12:45 PM

    I love Dorothy Parker! Your nod to her writing was quite good!

  16. April 12, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    This has to be my favourite of all the Magpies I’ve visited so far! LOL

  17. April 12, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    Wow! that was simply a superb synchronization… wonderful!!! 😀

  18. Doctor FTSE
    April 12, 2011 at 2:04 PM

    Very good verses. Thanks for the chuckles.

  19. April 12, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    mega lolsss

    Not only Dorothy’s piece was perfect but yours was just more apt! Your words matched upto her writes! Kudos!!

    Many Hugs xx

  20. Helen
    April 12, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    Double whammy!!!

  21. April 12, 2011 at 5:59 PM

    Not such a long way to go to catch up with Dorothy.

  22. April 12, 2011 at 7:27 PM

    haha..playful verse…and if i am already down here i might as well be refreshed

  23. April 12, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    i think your wit was quite comparable…

  24. Elaine
    April 12, 2011 at 11:04 PM

    Hilarious. Great rhyme, meter and punch line!

  25. April 13, 2011 at 12:31 AM

    Both pieces, both writers hit the mark well!

  26. April 13, 2011 at 1:02 AM

    too funny. enjoyed this!

  27. April 13, 2011 at 1:22 AM

    Great stand-in for Dorothy!

  28. April 13, 2011 at 3:03 AM

    You are every bit as witty as Dorothy P.

  29. April 13, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    THIS IS GREAT! LOL, I liked your’s better than her’s… WONDERFUL!! (Clap, clap in appreciation)

  30. April 13, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    Brilliant! I never could manage to write humour, you’ve done well with this!

  31. April 13, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    Hah! Eminently practical.

  32. April 13, 2011 at 3:07 PM

    Hey! Hey! Right up my street these poems are! I like to add humour as much as possible in my ‘pies!

    I think Ms Parker may have a bit of competition here! I’ve certainly jotted down her name.

  33. hypercryptical
    April 13, 2011 at 3:59 PM

    Brilliantly done! I’m smiling!

    Anna :o]

  34. April 13, 2011 at 5:07 PM

    Thank you again to all who have commented and encouraged…it is greatly appreciated. Vb

  35. April 14, 2011 at 12:34 AM

    Perfect, perfect! Love it!

  36. April 14, 2011 at 1:25 AM

    Far and a way, the best that I’ve read. I love your sense of humor. Reminds me of me. It ain’t a crime to write the rhyme!

  37. ds
    April 14, 2011 at 9:10 PM

    Hahahahahahaha! Love Dorothy Parker (who would definitely approve) and love this. Wonderful. Thank you.

  38. April 15, 2011 at 2:10 AM

    Too good, VB! Excellent!

    Here is my Magpie poem.

  39. April 15, 2011 at 9:59 AM

    Cute and witty… love the rhythm and rhyme, too.

  40. April 15, 2011 at 12:38 PM

    You did Dorothy proud!

  41. April 15, 2011 at 12:51 PM

    Take two aspirins and call me in the morning.

  42. Trellissimo
    April 15, 2011 at 1:22 PM

    I’m sure Dorothy Parker would approve.

  43. April 15, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    Funny and clever at the same time – that can’t be bad!

  44. April 15, 2011 at 8:55 PM

    Love Dorothy’s wit; love your take on it, as well, LOL. Thanks for the laughter.

  45. April 15, 2011 at 11:32 PM

    Dorothy’s was good, but I prefer yours. Well done!

  46. April 16, 2011 at 12:06 AM

    These are both so funny and have me laughing all of the way through! Especially like these lines:
    My body went suddenly liquid
    And I dribbled on to the floor
    Gotta go check out Dorothy Parker now!

  47. April 16, 2011 at 11:20 AM

    I so wish I’d written this – wonderful!

  48. April 16, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    very nicely done

  49. April 16, 2011 at 3:17 PM


  50. elizabethmatter
    April 16, 2011 at 7:30 PM


  51. April 16, 2011 at 8:28 PM

    Elizabeth, Thanks for reading and subscribing. Vb

  52. April 16, 2011 at 9:52 PM

    oh that’s funny!

  53. April 16, 2011 at 10:33 PM

    I don’t see why your in-laws would be upset — you did, after all, say “please”.

    • April 16, 2011 at 10:44 PM

      Darn good point…I’ll remember that next time! vb

  54. April 17, 2011 at 3:37 AM

    Your verse made me laugh!

  55. Deb
    April 17, 2011 at 8:18 AM

    Terrific, esp. the first one about four & the host! grin!

  56. April 17, 2011 at 12:51 PM

    Oh I love that Dorothy Parker verse, she certainly is packed with wit! 🙂 You might be one of her relatives I think, yours is equally as impressive 😀 LOVED IT!

    My Magpie Post

  57. April 17, 2011 at 3:16 PM

    I’m back again to congratulate you for your Honorable Mention in this week’s
    Limerick of the Week.

  58. April 17, 2011 at 7:30 PM

    Very funny. Made me snort, in fact — which I don’t do often (unless I’m drunk). 😉

  59. April 18, 2011 at 10:15 AM

    This was fun read ! And yes, Dorothy is a wonderful writer for all occasions 😉

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