Home > My Rhymes > Half A Yolk

Half A Yolk

This is a response to Magpie Tales prompt # 62 which is the image above.

I went to see my doctor

Who looked me in the eye

“Your lipids are a travesty,

Your BP’s way too high”

So she prescribed a diet

To square my labs away

Though it may be good for me

Here’s all I have to say

I can’t live on half a yolk

And just a bite of bread

No way I’m eating oatmeal

Or yogurt cups instead

I can’t exist on water

And never have a beer

Or chew on fruits and veggies

When filet mignon is near

I don’t know what hummus is

And I don’t want to know

And if I’m offered tofu

I believe I will forego

This regimen is killing me

Of that there is no doubt

The rules are fairly simple:

Taste good? Then spit it out!

  1. April 18, 2011 at 5:12 PM

    I know the feeling. Eating healthy can be a killer.
    Enjoyed that. And loved the last line.

  2. April 18, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    HA, this a so true. From beginning to end. Life is to enjoy!

  3. thingy
    April 18, 2011 at 5:36 PM

    LOL. So true. Hummus is not that ba…. oh, never mind. : )

  4. April 18, 2011 at 5:41 PM

    I just gave up dessert and cake…ugh!

  5. Helen
    April 18, 2011 at 6:19 PM

    Wonderful! Spirited and so lively! (I love hummus!)

  6. April 18, 2011 at 6:23 PM

    Oh, I love this… so delightful and funny! Freat rhythm and rhyme, too!

  7. April 18, 2011 at 7:01 PM

    Oh, very good!

  8. April 18, 2011 at 7:33 PM

    Wonderfully penned frustrations of the ongoing battle with diets… of the low cholesterol kind. Go get ’em. Maybe the seafood diet would work, see food and eat it.

  9. April 18, 2011 at 9:00 PM

    This is so fun and re: the Limericks–yes, great minds!!

  10. April 18, 2011 at 11:02 PM

    Very witty and rhythmical–and quite a list of do’s and don’ts!
    Well, this breakfast looks pretty hearty (maybe needs some bacon). Take Crestor and Cozaar for your cholesterol and blood pressure–then eat whatever you want!:)

  11. April 19, 2011 at 12:54 AM

    Clever sign of the times! Fun read.

  12. April 19, 2011 at 1:34 AM

    I know it is awful, anything that tastes wonderful seems bad for you,or maybe we are just bad at the old, anything in small measures doesn’t do you any harm!

  13. April 19, 2011 at 2:41 AM

    I know the feeling (although I love hummus).

  14. April 19, 2011 at 3:13 AM

    excellent response to diet advice!

  15. earlybird
    April 19, 2011 at 3:27 AM

    Excellent! I shall toast this by having another coffee and perhaps a nice buttery croissant with apricot jam for breakfast!

  16. April 19, 2011 at 5:44 AM

    This really made me laugh. Moderation in all things is the way to go – not self-sacrifice!!

  17. April 19, 2011 at 7:34 AM

    Love this! Thanks for sharing.

  18. April 19, 2011 at 7:50 AM

    Very clever verse!

  19. April 19, 2011 at 9:13 AM

    I’m with you! Bah to tofu!

  20. April 19, 2011 at 9:14 AM

    Eating healthy is certainly not for the faint of heart. (hee–no pun intended)

  21. April 19, 2011 at 9:27 AM

    O dear, we really ought to, you know, eat healthily;
    I’ll probably start tomorrow. Or maybe the day after.

  22. April 19, 2011 at 10:11 AM

    A delightful take on the perils of ‘eating healthy’ ! LOL

  23. April 19, 2011 at 11:05 AM

    My apologies to all you hummus lovers out there. Not much love for tofu, though!

  24. April 19, 2011 at 12:13 PM

    So funny! Thanks for the humorous take on the plain old egg and toast.

  25. Lyn
    April 19, 2011 at 2:03 PM

    It seems so at times, that what’s healthy is blah..just add a bit of sugar and spice..love this!!

  26. April 19, 2011 at 5:38 PM

    AMEN! (Standing ovation) BRAVO! You are so talented…I wish I could rhyme like you! Excellent and witty. Boy, can I relate to this!

  27. April 19, 2011 at 8:27 PM

    Life is for living! We only live once and we only die once! Eat what the hell you like – for if not, all you have is health! What is the point of being healthy and unhappy? The pleasure of life is taking risks!

  28. Steve Isaak
    April 20, 2011 at 6:15 PM

    All too relatable, good piece.

  29. April 21, 2011 at 5:01 AM

    I cant even dream of such a diet in my worst nightmare!

  30. April 21, 2011 at 2:14 PM

    I know this one- lipid levels can actually suck the life out of your food- targeting the egg yolks!

    But the rule you described is the general rule actually. The better it tastes; the useless it becomes..

    Thank you for reading me at my site 😀
    Many Hugs xoxox

  31. April 21, 2011 at 3:42 PM


  32. April 23, 2011 at 5:17 PM

    You have put into words beautifully what my husband is going through! But are you both listening??

  33. April 26, 2011 at 1:43 AM

    There must be a steak, chips and red wine diet, somewhere. There must be.

  34. April 29, 2011 at 3:34 AM

    HA! Oh man. Love this! Had a bit of the diet woes when my sister and I decided to give up meat together, and apparently only eat the sort of food that food eats. *sigh* She’s a vegan now, and I’m a …meat-etarian? I figure it balances out- she doesn’t eat meat or any animal products, and I pick up the slack for her. 😀
    Though I must say, hummus is pretty yummy if you get the right recipe. Mmm, or spinach salad with a sesame seed dressing, mandarin slices, bit of feta crumbles… great, now I’m hungry.

    • April 29, 2011 at 1:24 PM

      “Meat-etarian” like that one. I used to claim to be an omnivore, but perhaps in today’s PC environment, “Diverse Diner” is more appropriate. Glad you enjoyed. Vb

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: