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Archive for the ‘My Rhymes’ Category

Pinafores

March 18, 2014 3 comments

‘Twixt pinafores and semaphores

And petit fours and such

There’s often some confusion,

But I wouldn’t worry much

 

For here’s a way to keep them

All quite tidy in your mind

And if you’ll just recite this verse

No problems you will find

 

A pinafore’s an apron

And a semaphore’s a sign

A petit four’s a pastry

Of much intricate design

 

So when you’re finished baking treats

Aboard your trusty boat

You run your apron up the mast

To signal all afloat

 

Then the pinafore’s a semaphore

The petit fours are here

Which makes this rhyme a poor attempt

At metaphor I fear

 

 

 

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Raven Redux

October 30, 2012 43 comments

Recycled for Halloween 2012

 

One of my all-time favorite poems is Poe’s The Raven, but let’s face it, at 1086 words it is way too long.  In today’s frenetic world, who has the time to read such things. So, in the interest of making it more accessible to the schedule-impaired, and with all due respect to the original, I have undertaken a slight edit.  Here is my 68 word version of the classic.

 

Lonely dude about to snore

Hears a knock upon his door

What is there? A talking bird!

All it knows is one damn word


Conversation is a bore

All it says is “nevermore”

Asks about his long lost flame

Lenore, the lovely lady’s name


Bird provides no help at all

“Nevermore,” it’s single call

Lonely dude goes raving mad

Bird just sits there.  Bird is bad



Linked to One Shot Wednesday.

The Mermaid Bride

May 6, 2012 15 comments

This poem is in response to The Mag image below:

 

 

This got me thinking about a river flowing to the ocean and the following salty tale ensued:

 

 

 

Well, I sits on the beach

Just a’watchin the tide

And mourns o’er the loss

O’ my sweet mermaid bride

 

On the schooner “Allegro”

O’ Nantucket, Mass

I first laid me eyes

On that fair- flippered lass

 

I was standin’ me watch

In the dead o’ the night

When she rose from the sea

With a phosphoric light

 

‘Twas a vision in beauty

A sailor’s true wish

The North of her, woman

The South of her, fish

 

Her hair was of seaweed

And it bobbed to ‘n fro

As her scales softly shone

In the moon’s silver glow

 

With songs of a siren

To her pearl covered bed

She wooed me, seduced me

And then we was wed

 

We was married by Neptune

The seafarer’s God

Me groomsmen was mack’rel

The bridesmaids was cod

 

Then its two years ‘n twenty

Of marital bliss

At least so’s I thought

‘Til she hits me with this:

 

“I’m leavin’,” says she

“With a dolphin named Dan

Ain’t I don’t love you

He’s just more of a man”

 

“He’s slicker ‘n thicker

And slow where you’re quicker

A flick of his fluke

And my flame’s all a’ flicker “

 

Then with nary a wave

And just barely a splash

She swam to her beau

And was gone in a flash

 

Now, I sits on the beach

Just a’ watchin’ the tide

And mourns o’er the loss

O’ my sweet mermaid bride

Just Add Water

April 29, 2012 12 comments

This post is linked to The Mag prompt #115 which is the image above

 

 

She bought him in a pet shop for a dollar and a quarter

The lady at the counter said “It says here just add water

Then fertilize and nurture him and grow your perfect man

But it comes with this disclaimer: Most aren’t worth a damn”

Performance Anxiety

April 22, 2012 19 comments

 

This post is linked to The Mag prompt #114 which is the image above.

 

What joy! At Last! An honorarium!

To read my verse at the aquarium

What angst! What pain! My poems stank!

The performance ended in the tank.

 

 

Eggsistentialism

April 9, 2012 13 comments

This post is linked to The Mag prompt 112 which is the image above.

 

 

Existential image

Floating eggshell girl

Drifting ‘cross the desert

Clouds a gothic whirl

 

Meaning is elusive

Imagery’s obscure

Artist has a message

What, I can’t be sure

I’m Thinking of Starting a Diet

April 6, 2012 3 comments

I’m thinking of starting a diet

In fact I might start it today

The goal of my diet is simple

To make fifty pounds go away

 

My shirt creeps up over my belly

My pants are two inches too tight

I’m a pastry away from exploding

Good gosh, I’m a horrible sight

 

I can’t see my toes when I’m standing

My belt buckle points at the floor

I suck in my gut and turn sideways

To maneuver my butt through a door

 

Oh, once I was young and athletic

And once I was nimble and lean

But I said “super size it” too often

I think y’all know what I mean

 

They say diet is all about willpower

And not for the lazy or meek

I’m thinking of starting a diet

Well, maybe I’ll start it next week.

Linked to The Purple Tree House and Poets United