Archive for the ‘My Top Ten’ Category

Raven Redux

October 30, 2012 43 comments

Recycled for Halloween 2012


One of my all-time favorite poems is Poe’s The Raven, but let’s face it, at 1086 words it is way too long.  In today’s frenetic world, who has the time to read such things. So, in the interest of making it more accessible to the schedule-impaired, and with all due respect to the original, I have undertaken a slight edit.  Here is my 68 word version of the classic.


Lonely dude about to snore

Hears a knock upon his door

What is there? A talking bird!

All it knows is one damn word

Conversation is a bore

All it says is “nevermore”

Asks about his long lost flame

Lenore, the lovely lady’s name

Bird provides no help at all

“Nevermore,” it’s single call

Lonely dude goes raving mad

Bird just sits there.  Bird is bad

Linked to One Shot Wednesday.

The Wart On Jenny’s Nose

June 7, 2011 38 comments


The female form is glorified in written word and song

From gently curving bosoms to legs so lithe and long

Yet, of all the charms appealing from tresses down to toes

There’s none that strike my fancy like the wart on Jenny’s nose


Resting on the very tip for all the world to see

It runs from brown to purple and is textured like a pea

Perched upon the precipice as if about to fall

It makes her look quite like a seal who’s balancing a ball


She doesn’t try to hide it and she won’t have it removed

She says it makes her special and I think her point’s been proved

It whispers not of vanity, but screams of depth within

Perfection’s not a virtue, nor is a flaw a sin


If beauty really rests within each beholder’s eye

Then we needn’t all appear the same and shouldn’t even try

True beauty’s point and counterpoint…thorns enhance the rose

And nothing’s as beguiling as the wart on Jenny’s nose


This poem is linked to One Stop Poetry.


May 24, 2011 28 comments

This poem is linked to One Stop Poetry.



I took an arrow in the heart

From Cupid’s loving bow

Why the little bare-bummed archer

Picked on me I’ll never know

With his cherub face and curly locks

And dainty little wings

You’d never guess the awful mess

His little missile brings

Before he shot, I had only me,

And wanted nothing more

Now I’ve got a wife, six drooling kids,

And creditors galore

Oh God in heaven grant me this:

I only wish I might

Encounter that sweet faerie

On some dark and moonless night

I’d snatch the arrows from his back

‘Ere more harm came to pass

Then throttle him around the neck

And shove them up his … (well, you get the idea!)


I’m Not Afraid

May 2, 2011 37 comments

Linked to  The Purple Tree House . Vb



I’m not afraid of kitty cats

With nasty little claws

I’m not afraid of growling dogs

And slashing, gnashing jaws

I’m not afraid of bully boys

Or wriggly, jiggly snakes

And those itsy bitsy spiders

Do not give me the shakes

But little girls with pretty curls

Can make me blush and sweat

My dad says, “Son, it’s just begun

You ain’t seen nothing yet!”

Two Kids From Verona

April 26, 2011 33 comments

The original Romeo & Juliet is 25,948 words….good stuff, but does it really need to be that long?  Here’s my 141 word, Plotsicle version that hits the high points.  Linked to One Stop Poetry and Big Tent Poetry.


Poor Romeo and Juliet

A Montague and Capulet

Their families in an awful feud

Veronan twits with attitude

Two teeny-boppers fall in love

But fate about to give a shove

On balcony defies her pa

“Where for art thou,”… blah, blah, blah

Married by a cunning friar

Jules and padre co-conspire

But, there’s a little problem, man

See, Romeo’s not told the plan

So, when young Julie fakes her death

Beau, Romeo can’t catch his breath

He drinks some poison at her side

Then exits center stage by bride

When Julie wakes to see him die

She knows she must do more than cry

Our girl’s plan has got some swagger:

Locate chest and insert dagger

A tragic tale of plans askew

The moral here is nothing new

Love can be so iridescent

But a mess when prepubescent


Under the Table

April 11, 2011 61 comments












This post is in response to Magpie Tales prompt #61 which is the image above.


Anything I try will pale in comparison to the the great Dorothy Parker.  If you are not familiar with her, give yourself a treat and explore her writings.  In my opinion, the wittiest writer ever.







Here’s one of her pieces that’s fits this prompt perfectly:


I wish I could drink like a lady

I can take one or two at the most

Three and I’m under the table

Four and I’m under the host

Here’s my take:


While minding my manners at dinner

And sipping a merlot or four

My body went suddenly liquid

And I dribbled on to the floor

I don’t think my in-laws are happy

I shudder at what they must think

But since I am already down here

Please pass me the rest of my drink

Swimming With Sharks

March 30, 2011 22 comments


She came to some grief on a barrier reef
While snorkeling with fishies and fry
When up from the dark rose a hammerhead shark
That nipped off a piece of her thigh

Said the girl to the beast, “How dare you to feast
On my tushie, how cheeky, what nerve”
Said the shark, “Back on land you may be quite grand
But out here, you’re another hors d’oeuvre.”

Linked to One Shot Poetry Wednesday and Big Tent Poetry